


5 Years, 7 Months, 13 Days

by relcutantlyback (AzaWhite)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Memory Loss, Pre-Canon, Vicchan (Yuri!!! on Ice) Dies, pet death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 06:16:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19435609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzaWhite/pseuds/relcutantlyback
Summary: Here’s the thing: Vicchan is eleven by the time Katsuki Yuuri makes it to his first Grand Prix Final. Here’s the problem: nearly a third of dogs that age display one or more symptoms of canine cognitive disorder—dog dementia. And Katsuki Yuuri has been gone for five years—half of Vicchan’s life..a fic detailing Vicchan's years without Yuuri





	5 Years, 7 Months, 13 Days

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to finally post my piece for YOI Angst Zine. This fic was written for the First Volume, which focused on stories of heartlessness and fading hope (hydrangea and anenome).
> 
> Thank you to all the YOI Angst Zine mods for letting me be a part of this fantastic project alongside so many talented and kind artists and writers. And to all readers, whether you donated or are reading this for the first time here, thank you so much!

**May 2010**

Vicchan spends most of his time waiting patiently right at the front door of the onsen. He greets every visitor with a soft bark and a lick or two and is rewarded with lots of pats and cooed endearments. “What’s the pretty doggie’s name?” they ask, often while scratching behind his ears. (Vicchan really likes being scratched behind his ears.)

“His name is Vicchan,” responds Hiroko. “He’s my son’s—Katsuki Yuuri’s—dog.”

When she says this, one of two things happen. If the guest is familiar with figure skating, they remark on how proud the family must be, having a son so talented representing Japan. They distractedly pat Vicchan as they and Hiroko make polite conversation on Yuuri’s skating. “It must be difficult, being so far from your son,” they say.

Hiroko smiles softly. “I always wish the best for him,” she says. “America is far away, but he has a good coach. I miss him, but his dreams are bigger than this small town.” She laughs softly and reaches down to absentmindedly stroke Vicchan’s fur. (Vicchan doesn’t mind that the pats are half-thought things. He’s waiting for someone more important to approach the doors.)

If the guest doesn’t know much about figure skating, Hiroko politely, briefly states what he does. They often don’t think much more about Vicchan as they move towards the blossoming display of awards and childhood photos. Vicchan is fine with this too. He settles back down, facing the doors, nose and ears perked for any scent or sound of his master’s arrival.

**October 2010**

Watching Yuuri skate is always a production in the Katsuki household. Toshiya—for once caring more about figure skating than football—flips the channel and hoards the remote so nobody changes it. Hiroko makes a big batch of katsudon for the family and guests. Mari changes her chore schedule so she has time to watch the program. Vicchan sits as close as he can to the television while still being able to see the whole screen.

(Whenever a camera catches a close-up of Yuuri, Vicchan yips in joy and rushes up to the tv, his tiny nose pressed up against the screen, tongue licking furiously, as if he can power through the glass straight to Yuuri’s cheek. When Yuuri skates, Vicchan sits quietly, enthralled by his master’s movements just as he was when he watched from the stands of Ice Castle. He whimpers quietly whenever the show is over and the channel changed back to football. If Mari walks him afterwards, he’ll sit and howl for his loss. Still, he knows his Yuuri will come back. Of course he will.)

**April 2011**

Vicchan sleeps in Yuuri’s room every night. He clambers up onto the bed and curls into a ball on the pillow. As he sleeps, he dreams of belly rubs and late-night cuddles and jogs to Ice Castle. Sometimes he wakes in the middle of the night, feeling a hollow space in his chest, nudges the closet door open best he can, and wriggles into the small spaces between boxes that still smell strongly of Yuuri. (Yuuri smells like the days between winter and spring—a little icy, a little like reborn grass. A lot like hope.)

In the morning, before any guests are awake, Hiroko or Mari peeks into the room. “Vicchan! Time for your walk!” He yawns and stretches, squeezing his way out of the closet or hopping down from the bed. Vicchan heels as he pads toward the door, waits silently as they clip a leash to his red collar. (Yuuri picked it out. It matches the jacket of Vicchan’s namesake.) His walks are never long—the onsen requires the family’s presence—but he enjoys them all the same. (Here’s where Yuuri took him on his first walk. Here’s where Vicchan got tangled in his leash and Yuuri giggled before untangling him. Here’s where…)

When they return to the inn, Vicchan sits quietly, patiently while Hiroko scoops a mix of kibble, rice, and veggies into his bowl. Occasionally he lucks out with a thin slice of pork slipped in, or a couple bites of fish. Once he finishes licking the bowl clean, he settles down in front of the door. He greets every guest with polite enthusiasm. (Vicchan always settles down a little quicker than most dogs. It’s because he wants to be ready.)

**September 2011**

Sometimes the family watches skating events even if Yuuri isn’t competing. Mostly national programs, but every once in a while, they catch an international event. Vicchan trots down the hall into the common area as soon as he hears the tell-tale scraping of skates on ice. If a guest changes the channel, he plants himself right in front of them, folding his paws and resting his head on them, letting out a soft cry like a wounded thing. The guest always switches back to the competition.

Vicchan closes his eyes and pretends he is hearing his Yuuri skate. Occasionally the Nishigoris come over, and Yuuko’s scent washes over him, convincing himself of the illusion. He is back at Ice Castle, Yuuko stroking his fur as Yuuri skates. He can’t quite imagine the complex figures and sequences anymore. The triplets keep him far from Ice Castle in reality; the high-pitched keening of their cries grate on Vicchan’s sensitive ears. Still, Yuuri’s face is clear and crisp in his memory, a soft smile on his face.

**March 2012**

Vicchan sometimes patters to the small display tucked in the corner behind the welcome desk. It’s covered in small trophies, medals of various colors, and the occasional certificate. Vicchan doesn’t look at those—he turns his head to the small collection of photographs. Some of the small polaroids are difficult to see, but he can still make out the glint of light on skate blades, the reflection of Yuuri’s glasses, the pure joy on his face. Other, newer photos are easier to make out, even from Vicchan’s low vantage point. There’s Yuuri, in one of the rare candid photos, laughing as he makes his way back from the ice. (Vicchan likes seeing his master like that. He remembers that’s from landing a hard jump—or was it something Yuuko said?)

“Vicchan!” He starts, one paw leaving the ground in his surprise. Mari calls out again. “Vicchan, come on. Walk time!”

He gets up, shaking off the last bits of tiredness from his bones. He lets out a soft yip of acknowledgement before sparing one last glance at Yuuri’s laughing face. (He’ll come back. Of course. And Vicchan will leap up into his arms and get called “best boy” again in that soft, affectionate voice that always called his name with love—)

“Vicchan!” Mari frowns. Vicchan shakes his head to clear it of the thought. She clips the leash to his collar and takes off at a brisk pace. He jogs slightly to keep up before she lets out a sigh and stops. He heels, nuzzling her ankle.

“…You miss him too, don’t you, boy?” She crouches down and scratches him behind the ears. (Vicchan is vaguely aware of his tail thumping against the concrete. It feels good.) After a moment’s hesitation, Mari gives him a kiss on the top of his head. (She’s never done this before. It’s nice. It reminds him of Yuuri.)

**November 2012**

When Yuuri gets assigned to the NHK Trophy, the entire family is ecstatic. Hiroko, Toshiya, and Minako squeal and chatter amongst themselves, and even Mari lets loose a rare smile. Vicchan yips with joy—he doesn’t know why his family is so happy, but he’s unflinchingly supportive. The Nishigoris come over, triplets in tow, to join in on the celebration. Sake flows and even the most confused guests are more than eager to join in.

Eventually, late into the night, the cheery atmosphere sours. Hiroko and Toshiya need to stay at the onsen to cater to guests, and between juggling the triplets and running Ice Castle, Yuuko and Takeshi need to stay in Hasetsu. Mari slinks off to smoke, and Vicchan curls up next to Minako. She slowly strokes his fur, lulling him into the haze between being awake and sleeping.

“I want to go,” she says quietly. “I want to support him. But he’d probably get nervous, and I don’t want to be the one who messes up his chance to skate against Nikiforov.” She pauses. “What do you think, Vicchan?”

(Vicchan has only a moment to wonder, confusedly, who “he” is before falling deep into sleep.)

**July 2013**

Vicchan spends the hottest days of summer napping at Ice Castle. In between lessons, Takeshi checks his water bowl and combs Vicchan’s curls through his calloused fingers. Often, his students trail after him, exclaiming endearments that Vicchan basks in before settling down for another nap. Once in a while a student will pull out their phone and snuggle up tight to Vicchan’s side. (Vicchan is no stranger to being photographed—Yuuri used to pose with him all the time.)

(Takeshi always double-checks the photo before nodding his approval. “You can post this,” he says. “Make sure you tag Yuuri and let him know we’re all cheering for him.”)

When the sun begins to set and the rink is closed, Yuuko clips Vicchan’s leash to his collar and takes him on a brisk jog back to the onsen. Toshiya usually greets them and takes Vicchan to the small garden. (It’s always nice to be back home, even though Yuuri isn’t here.)

After he eats his dinner and licks Hiroko in appreciation, Vicchan pads his way down the long halls of the family wing and slips inside the door to his—(Yuuri’s)—room. He stares up at the posters that cover the walls. They’re all of the same silver-haired skater. Sometimes, in the dead of night, he wonders if that is why Yuuri left him. Because he wanted the real Victor, not Vicchan.

(Vicchan likes being with Hiroko and Mari and Toshiya. He just wishes Yuuri was here too.)

**October 2013**

As the years go by, Yuuri appears in more and more interviews. Hiroko excitedly records all of them. Mari, with her superior English skills, painstakingly translates them to Japanese. She sits at her desk with the recording queued up on her computer. Every couple of seconds, she presses rewind and then play, making sure to capture every word, every nuance. Vicchan likes sitting with her as she does this. (It brings him back to the days when Yuuri would translate Russian to English to Japanese.)

When she’s done, it’s late in the night and she heads straight to sleep. Vicchan hops up onto her bed and curls up next to her head on the pillow. She grumbles, but it’s good-natured, and she never sends him out of the room. Vicchan sleeps well those nights. It’s comforting, sleeping with a human’s steady heartbeat in the background. He misses it.

The next evening, the family gathers around Mari’s notes. Vicchan usually hears his name during these huddles, as Toshiya steadily reads the translation. Hiroko scratches underneath Vicchan’s chin. “He loves you so much, Vicchan. He’ll be home soon.”

(But Vicchan is quickly reaching middle age. He can already feel the aches in his bones when he wakes.)

**June 2014**

Vicchan finally guilts Toshiya into walking him to the beach in early summer. He’s content to let his companion set a leisurely pace and take the lead. The salty air provides a refreshing contrast to the sulfuric air at the onsen. Toshiya unclips his leash, and Vicchan stands still for just a moment before chasing after the gulls. He follows a few of them right into the ocean, quickly getting himself sopping wet from head to toe.

The water is still cold, so he quickly retreats, though his curls stay matted to his skin even after a thorough shake. He shivers. Toshiya chuckles. “C’mere, Vicchan. I’ll dry you off a little.”

(Vicchan doesn’t hear him. He’s staring out at the ocean. He came here, often, with someone…)

He shakes himself. That doesn’t matter anymore. He’s here with Toshiya. Vicchan finds a branch, almost too big for his tiny mouth, and offers it to Toshiya.

“Atta boy! Fetch!” The stick goes flying into the air and Vicchan is chasing, chasing, leaping. He catches it neatly in his mouth, though his legs nearly buckle as he lands back on four paws. Toshiya beckons him back. They repeat the process a few times, Toshiya sending the stick soaring farther each time. Finally, panting heavily and thoroughly exhausted, Vicchan leaves the branch where it lands and plops down next to Toshiya.

Toshiya towels him down. “Remember when Yuuri used to drag us out here? He always wanted to come out here when he was forced to take a rest day.” He sighs, the sound heavy in his chest. “I miss seeing him every day. I know he’s making his dreams come true, but I want to see my son.” Toshiya swallows hard. “I bet you miss him too, boy.”

(Vicchan isn’t so sure. His family insists he knows this ‘Yuuri’ but he’s not so sure.)

(If there isn’t a scent, was something ever there?)

**November 2014**

Once a year, the whole family—including the Nishigoris—gathers around Mari’s computer. Yuuko picks Vicchan up and cradles him in her arms as the screen lights up. A few moments later, a blurry face stares at them from within the computer. Hiroko and Toshiya exclaim their delight and begin chattering away. Vicchan wriggles in Yuuko’s arms. (It sounds almost familiar, that voice coming through the computer, though it sounds staticky and distorted.)

(Like a dream Vicchan once had.)

Finally, Yuuko gives up and puts Vicchan on the desk. He stares at the face in the screen. “Vicchan!” it exclaims, and suddenly memories come pouring in—Vicchan as a pup, cold and wet and sick, looking into this face and knowing he’d found a home—Yuuri cradling him close to his chest, heart beating slowly in content—them playing on the beach and in his room—Yuuri patting his head and turning away, walking farther and farther and not coming back—

Vicchan whimpers. This looks like Yuuri but doesn’t have his master’s scent. Instead, it smells of tangy metal and faint heat. He scrambles off the desk, joints protesting as he lands.

Yuuko finds him in Yuuri’s room later. She buries her face in his fur and cries.

(Yuuri’s room doesn’t smell like new grass or ice or hope or the days between winter and spring anymore.

It’s musty and old and forgotten.)

Vicchan thinks it smells like himself.

**February 2015**

Vicchan likes to spend the cold winter months in the onsen’s dining area. It’s always warm and lively, with the chattering of guests and the television playing. All the guests enjoy his company, and he spends time at each table. They give him behind-the-ear scratches and belly rubs and soft fingers carding through his curly fur. Sometimes he’s lucky enough to get a scrap of food snuck off the guest’s plate.

When his joints start aching from the chilly air outside, Vicchan slinks into the kitchen and finds an out-of-the-way corner to lie down in, letting his muscles relax in the blazing heat from the stove and oven. Often, he’ll spend an entire morning there, napping fitfully as Hiroko bustles around. Still, he gets rest and heat, and sometimes fallen scraps he scarfs down with gusto. A simple life, really.

There’s chaos at times, of course. The Nishigori triplets never fail to start some sort of trouble despite their parents’ best efforts. But overall, there’s routine and stability and plenty of love to go around.

It’s an idyllic lifestyle.

(Vicchan never really wonders why his life is the way it is. Why sometimes Minako or Yuuko look at him and sigh sadly. Why Toshiya and Takeshi always try to coax him into sleeping in a cold and empty room. Why Mari takes care of him.)

(Why, after so many years, he still feels a hollow ache in his chest at night.)

**December 2015**

Vicchan is dying.

(He knows this. He accepts this.)

The family takes turns saying goodbye. Takeshi, voice unusually tight, tears pricking in his eyes, chokes out an “I’ll miss you, bud” and gently ruffles the curls on Vicchan’s head. Minako keeps her distance, giving him only a quick pat before she steps aside. (It’s not heartless. Vicchan can smell her sorrow. She just doesn’t want to break down here.)

Yuuko sobs openly. She strokes his fur, trying to calm him even as her hand shakes. He licks at her fingers. She cries harder. “Why are you trying to reassure me, Vicchan?” Her voice breaks. “I love you, don’t you forget that, okay?” She turns away and burrows into Takeshi’s chest.

Toshiya’s next. He fidgets, smelling of nervous and grief. He scratches Vicchan behind the ears, runs a calloused hand down his spine. There are no final words. (There don’t need to be.)

Mari cries silently. In her hands she still holds two halves of a frayed red leash. She gently places them on the counter, freeing her hands to cup Vicchan’s face. “I’m sorry, Vicchan.” Apologies spill from her lips, and Vicchan finally musters enough energy to yip quietly. He licks her hand, tries to convey that it isn’t her fault, to thank her for years of care.

Hiroko pulls her daughter into a hug before approaching Vicchan. She smiles sadly. “It’s okay, Vicchan.” She pauses, and then continues with determination. “He loves you, always. Watch over him, okay? Good boy.”

Vicchan is dying. He knows this, he accepts this.

And eventually, he no longer knows pain.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave kudos and/or a comment if you enjoyed!


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